Trauma and ADHD: Healing What’s Beneath the Surface
By Dr. Kaity Brock, Ph.D., LPC
It was such a joy to connect with other professionals in sisterhood to talk about women, ADHD, and midlife. We had a blast collaborating and shedding light on this emerging research area.
When I was first approached about creating the conference, I felt excited…and then immediately nervous. My imposter syndrome whispered all the reasons why it might not work: the planning, the logistics, the fear of falling short. But I took a deep breath, said yes, and I’m so glad I did. That small risk turned into something wonderful, and it reminded me how often women with ADHD doubt themselves, even when we’re more than capable.
So much of ADHD is misunderstood. It’s not just about attention. It’s about identity. Many of us grew up hearing we were “lazy” or “irresponsible,” and those messages sink in deep. Over time, they shape how we see ourselves, creating cycles of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and burnout.
For women especially, ADHD and trauma often overlap. “Little t” traumas, like constant criticism, rejection, or not feeling good enough, can quietly build up and erode self-worth. Through trauma-informed approaches, I’ve seen clients reprocess these stuck beliefs and finally see themselves with compassion instead of shame.
Over the years, I’ve integrated Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) into my work with clients who have ADHD. While EMDR was developed for trauma, I’ve found it incredibly effective for addressing the emotional residue of ADHD such as the shame, the stuck beliefs, the sense of never being enough.
I’ve witnessed clients reprocess core beliefs like “I’m broken,” “I can’t be trusted,” or “I’ll always disappoint people.”As those beliefs shift, so does their sense of self. They begin to see themselves not as flawed, but as resilient and creative individuals whose brains simply work differently.
It’s why I believe we need to view ADHD through a trauma-informed lens. Treating symptoms is important, but healing the emotional wounds beneath them is where real transformation happens.
My biggest takeaway? Healing ADHD isn’t just about managing symptoms. It’s about creating systems, communities, and self-understanding that truly fit who we are. As I like to remind clients (and myself): instead of trying to be a star-shaped peg fitting into a round hole, what if we created a star-shaped hole instead?
