When New Year’s Resolutions Stress Your Nervous System

Written By: Dominique Burchard, LPC-Associate, Supervised by Megha Pulianda, LPC-S, PhD

Have you noticed that pressure to change can sometimes backfire?

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I’m not always a huge fan of them. With my personality, I know that having some outside pressure or accountability can really make a difference in sticking with my goals. A catalyst can help push me to change habits or routines, or to reach a new goal.

At the same time, I know that I sometimes experience anxiety, fear of disappointing myself, or procrastination that pulls me back and away from my goals. When these emotions or autopilots come up, I try to take the pressure off by breaking goals down into one small change to build on. As we make small changes, we give our nervous system the chance to readjust and make room for more change. This way, taking steps 1 and 2 gets you that much closer to 10.

When I think about why this approach works, it often comes down to anxiety, avoidance, or comfort in what I know. Resolutions, goals, and promises of change we make to ourselves or others can be great catalysts for change, but they can also add stress to our nervous system. Our nervous system typically operates on autopilot with reactions, routines, and behaviors that are common for us. When we try to make changes too quickly or shoot for a step-10 goal rather than starting at steps 1 and 2, our nervous system will pull us back into autopilot, where it feels safe and predictable.

Three steps to support meaningful change:

1. Notice your autopilot.
   Pay attention to the routines, reactions, or habits that show up automatically. And especially when anxiety, avoidance, or procrastination kicks in.

2. Choose one small, realistic shift.
   Instead of aiming for a step-10 goal, focus on a single change that feels manageable and aligned with your current capacity.

3. Let your nervous system adjust before adding more.
   Give yourself time to settle into each small change so it can feel safe and sustainable before building on it.

This is something I love helping my clients do. In sessions, we take the time to walk through their life and explore where they exert most of their energy and what autopilots they may have, to help highlight starting points that feel natural and meaningful.